I just posted the video I'll Be Loving You (Forever) by the New Kids on the Block on my Facebook. This video stirs different emotions in me. The first one that comes to mind is puberty and the fact that I ever really enjoyed such vapid, commercial Top 40 music ever (even at 12) which makes me a little ashamed, yet nostalgic. Next comes the comforting feeling of security, surrounded by my family, which was safe and sound, although I never felt like I fit into (the town or the family but loved, all the same). Sadness for the NKOTB, for making it big but being commercially exploited (they weren't much older than me though...)

My first concert was New Kids in 1988 during the Hangin' Tough tour. I remember what I wore (forrest green riding pants with buttons at the ankles and a floral button down shirt from The Limited with Bass leather loafers, dark blue and brown) and being uncomfortable when the opener, Dino, brought a girl onstage, made her sit on a bar stool and hump-danced her while my BFF's mom sat next to us. I also remember the feeling of actually being in the same room with the New Kids and seeing Joey and thinking, "I cannot believe I'm in the same room with him!" I then remember looking behind me (in a huge ampitheater in OKC in the very top, second row from the last possible row to be sitting in) and seeing teenage girls waving a banner that said, "Marry me, Joey!" At that point, it all felt a little surreal, kind of disgusting, yet exhilirating; when they brought out the oversized fireman's ladder for the encore, Hangin Tough. I'm kind of disturbed by the whole scenario, yet comforted, kind of like when I was even younger riding in my family's boat listening to Journey and my mom said, "Now this is good music!" It seems endearing now, but at the time I can remember cringing visibly and thinking, "I am done with Journey." Was I born a music snob or did I pick it up somewhere along the way during childhood? I'm kind of ashamed, but it's still a part of who I am. Thank God I soon discovered The Beatles.